It’s Sunday night, just past 7pm and I’d better write this before the mood passes.
Chiba Fly’s music with it’s cow bell & djembe’s in my ears, toying with my urge to shake my ass. Lightning in the sky and enough wine to make me care a little less.
I’m in deep shit to be honest. I hate the thought of tomorrow, that cubicle is killing me. Good people, good money, work’s really not that bad, but still. No more, I’m living a lie. For too long I’ve been stuck in the mind set that if I can do something (and even be very good at it) that I should do it. I’ll make it my week’s goal to figure out a way forward. I do like I.T. – when I have 3 train smashes to sort out at once I feel alive, but then in between it’s like a firefighter waiting for something bad to happen….. you can only polish that truck so many times.
Perhaps the problem is that I’m having so much fun outside of work. Perhaps I should try and have a really shit time – after work I should go to some dive where I get beat up every time, then going to work would be the fun part?
So that’s me feeling very sorry for myself It’s really not that bad. I had an absolutely FANTASTIC long weekend. Thursday’s outing with the gang (Muchness included) was incredible – first happy hour in a couple of months. The little fellow is getting quite the reputation!
I must once again thank Douggie for his positive vibes & company on Friday morning, words can not express what it meant to me and how perfectly everything worked out is simply amazing. Vlekkie, I hope one day I can repay you the favours you have shown me.
Friday: A seriously extended breakfast (starting with Mojito’s @ 9:45), a little downtime and then supporting a friend’s first event he hosted. Did the rounds at our “Clubhouse” and then the absolutely perfect lazy Saturday: many episodes of “Burn Notice”, “Blow” (how could I not have seen this movie before?!?!) and pizza.
I gave my first ever hand massage and it seemed to go down quite lekker. Strange, who would have known?
This is my week of decisions, can’t side-step them forever. It’s a good thing and I’m really looking forward to it.