Crossroads

It’s Sunday night, just past 7pm and I’d better write this before the mood passes.

Chiba Fly’s music with it’s cow bell & djembe’s in my ears, toying with my urge to shake my ass. Lightning in the sky and enough wine to make me care a little less.

I’m in deep shit to be honest. I hate the thought of tomorrow, that cubicle is killing me. Good people, good money, work’s really not that bad, but still. No more, I’m living a lie. For too long I’ve been stuck in the mind set that if I can do something (and even be very good at it) that I should do it. I’ll make it my week’s goal to figure out a way forward. I do like I.T. – when I have 3 train smashes to sort out at once I feel alive, but then in between it’s like a firefighter waiting for something bad to happen….. you can only polish that truck so many times.

Perhaps the problem is that I’m having so much fun outside of work. Perhaps I should try and have a really shit time – after work I should go to some dive where I get beat up every time, then going to work would be the fun part?

So that’s me feeling very sorry for myself ;-) It’s really not that bad. I had an absolutely FANTASTIC long weekend. Thursday’s outing with the gangĀ  (Muchness included) was incredible – first happy hour in a couple of months. The little fellow is getting quite the reputation!

I must once again thank Douggie for his positive vibes & company on Friday morning, words can not express what it meant to me and how perfectly everything worked out is simply amazing. Vlekkie, I hope one day I can repay you the favours you have shown me.

Friday: A seriously extended breakfast (starting with Mojito’s @ 9:45), a little downtime and then supporting a friend’s first event he hosted. Did the rounds at our “Clubhouse” and then the absolutely perfect lazy Saturday: many episodes of “Burn Notice”, “Blow” (how could I not have seen this movie before?!?!) and pizza.

I gave my first ever hand massage and it seemed to go down quite lekker. Strange, who would have known?

This is my week of decisions, can’t side-step them forever. It’s a good thing and I’m really looking forward to it.

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2 comments for “Crossroads

  1. January 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    Thanks, en ek bewonder jou vir die move wat jy gemaak het. Chat soon!

  2. nico
    January 12, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    You can choose to make a change and deal with the consequences.
    Or you can go on doing what you do.

    I made a choice and i am still dealing with it. It is hard changing your life but way do-able. So far I have to say that by choosing to face homelessness an doing what I want to is the single scariest and most exhilarating rush I have ever experienced.

    It is your life and you have to live it. It is never to late to do what you want to do with it and it is also up to you to deal with the consequences.

    Ek dink nog steeds die gnome steel mission ins moer awsome.
    Hy kort n female gnome sodat hy nie te alleen raak nie.

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