L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY everything that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman’s going to be the answer to all of yours

I’ll say it again
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for OH yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain’t gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
and
A is for ANY old how, darling
and
N is for ANY old time

The complete transcription below, over & out…

(Originally recorded by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)

There’s a devil waiting outside your door (How much longer?)
There’s a devil waiting outside your door (How much longer?)
And he’s bucking and braying and pawing at the floor (How much longer?)
And he’s howling with pain, crawling up the walls (How much longer?)
There’s a devil waiting outside your door (How much longer?)
And he’s weak with evil and broken by the world (How much longer?)
And he’s shouting your name and asking for more (How much longer?)
There’s a devil waiting outside your door (How much longer?)

Loverman! Since the world began
Forever, amen, till the end of time, yeah
Take off that dress, oh
I’m coming down, yeah
I’m your loverman, yeah
’cause I am what I am what I am what I am what I am

L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY everything that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman’s going to be the answer to all of yours

Loverman! Till the bitter end
While the empires burn down
Forever and ever and ever, ever, amen
I’m your loverman
So help me, baby
So help me, baby
’cause I am what I am what I am what I am what I am
I’m your loverman

There’s a devil crawling along your floor (How much longer?)
There’s a devil crawling along your floor (How much longer?)
With a trembling heart, he’s coming through your door (How much longer?)
With his straining sex in his jumping paw (How much longer?)
Ooh, there’s a devil crawling along your floor (How much longer?)
And he’s old and he’s stupid and he’s hungry and he’s sore
And he’s blind and he’s lame and he’s dirty and he’s poor
Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more, gimme more, gimme more, gimme more (How much longer?)
There’s a devil crawling along your floor

Loverman! Haha! And here I stand
Forever, amen
’cause I am what I am what I am what I am, hey
Forgive me, baby
My hands are tied
And I got no choice, no, no, no, no
I got no choice, no choice at all

I’ll say it again
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for OH yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain’t gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
and
A is for ANY old how, darling
and
N is for ANY old time

Loverman! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I got a masterplan, yeah
To take off your dress, yeah
And be your man, be your man, hey
Seize the throne, haha
Seize the mantle
Seize that crown, yeah
’cause I am what I am what I am what I am, that’s I am
I’m your loverman

There’s a devil laying by your side (How much longer?)
There’s a devil laying by your side (How much longer?)
You might think he’s asleep, but take a look at his eyes (How much longer?)
And he wants you, darling, to be his bride (How much longer?)
Yeah, there’s a devil laying by your side (How much longer?)

Loverman! Loverman! Loverman!
I’ll be your loverman!
Till the end of the time!
Till the empires burn down!
Forever, amen
I’ll be your loverman
I’ll be your loverman
I’m your loverman
I’m your loverman
Yeah, I’m your loverman
I’m your loverman
Loverman
I’m your loverman
I’m your loverman
I’m your loverman
Yeah, I’m your loverman
Yes, I’m your loverman
Loverman
Loverman
Loverman
Forever, amen
Loverman
Loverman (How much longer?)

I said, “Doctor that’s real bad news
Don’t know what I’m gonna do”

Doctor, there’s nothin’ wrong with me
Doctor, doctor, can’t you see?
Doctor, I ain’t gonna die
Just write me an alibi

I went to see a shaman
He said, “You’ll be alright
Just keep doin’ what you love
Every single night”

I said that’s what I need to hear
[Incomprehensible] my childish fears

Doctor, [Incomprehensible]
Doctor, doctor, my, oh, my
Doctor, you’re the one for me
That’s the mojo that I need

Don’t you know that I feel alright?
Doin’ what I do
I ain’t gonna tow the line
Not ’til I turn blue

All I got is one short life
That’s what people say
And I ain’t gonna waste a second
Doin’ what you say

I won’t be the one you like
I won’t be the boy next door
I won’t be the chosen one
That’s not what I’m here for

I don’t like the way you are
I despise what you hold, dear
Don’t you try to make me change
I’ll haunt you for a thousand years

Doctor, don’t you don’t you talk that way
Doctor, don’t you don’t you waste my day
Doctor, stay away from me
Sick is what I’d rather be

Doctor, doctor, doctor, death
Doctor, doctor out of breath
Doctor, I ain’t gonna die
Just write me an alibi

 (Slash & Lemmy Kilmeister)

I was determined to be miserable, I mean, so many people do it so well, it must be easy! So I spent the rest of the day trying to make a list of horrible things that I could bemoan and feel sorry for myself about. Sorta shoot my shotgun at the sky, you know? So here goes:

• I was relieved of my wallet by a stranger I gave a lift to. There was no violence involved (I only noticed it later) and I had previously removed all my ID and cards save my licence & one bank card, which is actually a breeze to replace.
• The taxi industry is planning to start their own airline. Great, now I’ll have to watch watch the sky above my head too?!
• Someone on the radio dared say “ectcetera”. I mean that’s just wrong. Please join the Facebook group in protest of this:

 That’s it. Pretty pathetic, I must say. I could probably complain about the lack of busty Italian girls knocking on my door, but that would be a bit like complaining about not winning the lotto while never having bought a ticket.

So here I am, a day later and feeling like a million bucks. I’ve started exercising again after my cold / flu (which I shaked without anti-biotics), dropped another kg and looking forward to the weekend line-up: Scicoustic, party with the Potgieters and a Black Cat Bones set. Some bouldering if I can fit it in, and maybe even that “breakfast in bed” thing on Saturday morning.

Life truly is a beach.

….and the real thing: