“What most male climbers want from their female partners is one thing: a good belay.” 
~ robDotCalm

“Researches found that licking the sweat from a frog cures depression, only problem is as soon as you stop licking the frog gets depressed again”
~ Jay Leno

“You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

~ Rosemarie Urquico

John Vlismas

Also well worth a read: http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/johnvlismas/2011/09/22/dear-k-word-and-k-the-boer-song/

So the trad trip got rained out. I wasn’t in the mood to drive out to the bouldering cave so I went to the gym for a little session on the rowing machine instead and then back home to watch another episode of Soprano’s.

I LOVE the rain, even if it forces you to change plans. I hate it when people, especially radio DJ’s start going on about the “miserable weather”. Life happens, roll with it.

Which brings me to radio shows: A firm favourite for me is Tuks FM. Their weekday breakfast & drive shows are pretty damn good, and generally the weekends are also very good. To my knowledge these guys are working for free (the station’s profit goes to charity) and they generally keep a high standard. One or two of the newer DJ’s still feel the urge to fill every microsecond with chatter, but it’s nothing a little experience won’t cure.

See, even Johan thinks the rain is ok!

Which is why when I heard Jakaranda FM on Friday afternoon I died a little death on behalf of any intelligent person forced to listen to it.

One would expect below the belt toilet humour from a student station like Tuks, instead they consistently come up with catchy phrases, clever titles and original ads. Kudos to the program manager who managed to keep it young, lively and sleaze free.

The same can not be said for Jakaranda. They on the other hand (and make no mistake Highveld is barely any better and I have luckily managed to avoid 5FM) failed miserably. I was treated to a promo ad of their breakfast show while driving in someone else’s car – I tried briefly to get a clip of the ad and some stats on their demographics, but it was not obviously available anywhere so I’m paraphrasing a bit here, bear with me:

Woman’s voice: “John is going to talk about his cock this morning. I believe he’s also going to touch it.”

….yes. The next bit is as obvious as dying when firing a 12 gauge shotgun into your mouth, albeit the shotgun option is probably less painful - the cock in question is of course a chicken. Semi canned laughter by “The Team”. John: “Yes I’m here with my cock this morning and I gave it a stroke or two and blablablabla”.

I cringed. I hugged myself, trying to convince myself that it would get better. I need mental floss. S.O.S. HELP!!!  This is the type of horse shit that a couple hundred thousand people listen to every morning, and yes, they find it amusing.

Fuck me. Perhaps some sort of global disaster to thin out the weaklings would not be so bad. It brought back repressed memories which I happily would have kept hidden away: When I worked at Desert Wolf the factory was out in the sticks and the only station they could pick up was Jakaranda. Luckily I was out 95% of the time, but I’ll never forget the one morning show I heard there, with Keeno if I recall, and a chick whose job description it seems was to giggle after every sentence he said. I could not figure out if the show director was after the canned-laughter-cue effect for the sake of the audience, or whether it was to encourage Keeno to spew forth more verbal diarrhea, sort of a Pavlov’s dog setup. It was horrifying to hear.

Ok, enough of that. Here’s a high five to those who endeavour to stay fresh and creative, those how manage the teaze without the sleaze. Live long and prosper.

I’ve never kept track of St Patrick’s day and as a result I only realised it was in fact yesterday thanks to the radio station. During the day festive mood rubbed off so by the time I was driving back from the bouldering cave passing all the green people heading to Hatfield square, I was keen to celebrate my first. I’m not really a beer drinker, but come hell or high water I’ll have a Guinness!!

Poor planning
Arriving at the square I realise I should probably have made a day of it, joined in the festivities the afternoon while the Tuks DJ’s were still broadcasting from there. By now the queue to enter the square went as far as the eye could see and obviously the creche forgot the gates open – average age must have been around 17. Plan B, again?! The other water holes are dead by comparison ( strangely not taking any advantage of the green fever ) and I was looking forward to a lively crowd.

Fall back to the trusty old Steak & Ale, only they have no Guinness! Staring at the bar stock, I spot a bottle of Jameson which would be my salvation in my quest to be Irish for a night.  

My luck improves as the band playing turns out quite good. I never bothered to find out the name, but the girl singing had a good voice and looked like she really felt the music. Despite her being solidly English and being visibly nervous with the Afrikaans song she hit the spot with “Mannetjies Roux”, the people loved it.

Coming up
I’m not sure if I have the energy to retry Strings & Skins @ Klitsgras tonight. Maybe. Tomorrow though it’s Wolmer DogFest, the line up includes Raoul & Black Friday, Black Cat Bones, Not My Dog and about 4 other bands – it’s going to be a blast!! Mom’s away on Sunday and (at least for me) an unexpected holiday on Monday. I realised with a shock my holiday is less than a month off, so I’ll probably spend all the time I can spare climbing, cycling or something like that.

Hey! It’s Friday!!!!

….and finally a bit of randomness:

There goes my stuff:

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”- Robert McCloskey

Definitely a “Wicked Wednesday” ©®™ – all the symptoms are there. I have an endorphin low, a motivational gap, in a gumption trap: I’m feeling melancholy and mean (read to the beat of Ludo’s “Love me dead”:

“Love me cancerously
Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea
‘High-maintenance’ means
You’re a gluttonous queen
Narcissistic and mean

Kill me romantically
Fill my soul with vomit
Then ask me for a piece of gum
Bitter and dumb, you’re my sugarplum
You’re awful, I love you

She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin

I know she drains me slowly
She wears me down to bones in bed
Must be the sign on my head
That says, oh, love me dead, love me dead

You’re a faith-healer on TV
You’re an office park without any trees
Corporate and cold, gushing with gold
Leave me alone

You suck so passionately
You’re a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature
Finger-bangin’ my heart, you call me a drunk
Does the fun ever start? You’re hideous and sexy

Love me cancerously
How’s your new boy?
Does he know about me?
You’ve got the mark of the beast
You’re born of a jackal, you’re beautiful”

Nothing a zombie massacre in our lunchtime Left 4 Dead session won’t cure. I’ll be back…

“Man”, it said, “this might be next to nothing
and drawn through a bitter tap,
but it’s all you’ll ever have.
Don’t spill a drop.”
– John Glenday, from Grain, via Chris Floyd‘s ”Love and Strife: Don’t Spill A Drop”
 

the end

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. 

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. 

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. 

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

“You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for,that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”
Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931