Chiba Fly’s music with it’s cow bell & djembe’s in my ears, toying with my urge to shake my ass. Lightning in the sky and enough wine to make me care a little less.

I’m in deep shit to be honest. I hate the thought of tomorrow, that cubicle is killing me. Good people, good money, work’s really not that bad, but still. No more, I’m living a lie. For too long I’ve been stuck in the mind set that if I can do something (and even be very good at it) that I should do it. I’ll make it my week’s goal to figure out a way forward. I do like I.T. – when I have 3 train smashes to sort out at once I feel alive, but then in between it’s like a firefighter waiting for something bad to happen….. you can only polish that truck so many times.

Perhaps the problem is that I’m having so much fun outside of work. Perhaps I should try and have a really shit time – after work I should go to some dive where I get beat up every time, then going to work would be the fun part?

So that’s me feeling very sorry for myself It’s really not that bad. I had an absolutely FANTASTIC long weekend. Thursday’s outing with the gang  (Muchness included) was incredible – first happy hour in a couple of months. The little fellow is getting quite the reputation!

I must once again thank Douggie for his positive vibes & company on Friday morning, words can not express what it meant to me and how perfectly everything worked out is simply amazing. Vlekkie, I hope one day I can repay you the favours you have shown me.

Friday: A seriously extended breakfast (starting with Mojito’s @ 9:45), a little downtime and then supporting a friend’s first event he hosted. Did the rounds at our “Clubhouse” and then the absolutely perfect lazy Saturday: many episodes of “Burn Notice”, “Blow” (how could I not have seen this movie before?!?!) and pizza.

I gave my first ever hand massage and it seemed to go down quite lekker. Strange, who would have known?

This is my week of decisions, can’t side-step them forever. It’s a good thing and I’m really looking forward to it.

 This is Africa messing with Jack’s idea of common sense
I walked into an MTN cellphone store and they could not sell me a starter pack for their own network. No, they are not out of stock, they simply don’t do that there. No, it’s not a small store. So I walk over to the stationary store and get it done (with another network as a matter of principal) in less than 5minutes flat.

Perception is reality
So I’ve had a frustrating week or two go by. Having said that I can not name a single bad thing that happened, rather, I’ve learned a little. One really good example: I had a stack of paper which I was on my way to toss out without a second thought topple on me at a particularly bad moment. As I turned to bestow my finest profanity onto the event, I saw a bunch of really important documents tucked in-between. Relief.

This is Jack’s friend’s word ringing true to him: Perception is reality. You can chose to see the bad, or you can try and be open to the positive.

So the trad trip got rained out. I wasn’t in the mood to drive out to the bouldering cave so I went to the gym for a little session on the rowing machine instead and then back home to watch another episode of Soprano’s.

I LOVE the rain, even if it forces you to change plans. I hate it when people, especially radio DJ’s start going on about the “miserable weather”. Life happens, roll with it.

Which brings me to radio shows: A firm favourite for me is Tuks FM. Their weekday breakfast & drive shows are pretty damn good, and generally the weekends are also very good. To my knowledge these guys are working for free (the station’s profit goes to charity) and they generally keep a high standard. One or two of the newer DJ’s still feel the urge to fill every microsecond with chatter, but it’s nothing a little experience won’t cure.

See, even Johan thinks the rain is ok!

Which is why when I heard Jakaranda FM on Friday afternoon I died a little death on behalf of any intelligent person forced to listen to it.

One would expect below the belt toilet humour from a student station like Tuks, instead they consistently come up with catchy phrases, clever titles and original ads. Kudos to the program manager who managed to keep it young, lively and sleaze free.

The same can not be said for Jakaranda. They on the other hand (and make no mistake Highveld is barely any better and I have luckily managed to avoid 5FM) failed miserably. I was treated to a promo ad of their breakfast show while driving in someone else’s car – I tried briefly to get a clip of the ad and some stats on their demographics, but it was not obviously available anywhere so I’m paraphrasing a bit here, bear with me:

Woman’s voice: “John is going to talk about his cock this morning. I believe he’s also going to touch it.”

….yes. The next bit is as obvious as dying when firing a 12 gauge shotgun into your mouth, albeit the shotgun option is probably less painful - the cock in question is of course a chicken. Semi canned laughter by “The Team”. John: “Yes I’m here with my cock this morning and I gave it a stroke or two and blablablabla”.

I cringed. I hugged myself, trying to convince myself that it would get better. I need mental floss. S.O.S. HELP!!!  This is the type of horse shit that a couple hundred thousand people listen to every morning, and yes, they find it amusing.

Fuck me. Perhaps some sort of global disaster to thin out the weaklings would not be so bad. It brought back repressed memories which I happily would have kept hidden away: When I worked at Desert Wolf the factory was out in the sticks and the only station they could pick up was Jakaranda. Luckily I was out 95% of the time, but I’ll never forget the one morning show I heard there, with Keeno if I recall, and a chick whose job description it seems was to giggle after every sentence he said. I could not figure out if the show director was after the canned-laughter-cue effect for the sake of the audience, or whether it was to encourage Keeno to spew forth more verbal diarrhea, sort of a Pavlov’s dog setup. It was horrifying to hear.

Ok, enough of that. Here’s a high five to those who endeavour to stay fresh and creative, those how manage the teaze without the sleaze. Live long and prosper.

I’ve never kept track of St Patrick’s day and as a result I only realised it was in fact yesterday thanks to the radio station. During the day festive mood rubbed off so by the time I was driving back from the bouldering cave passing all the green people heading to Hatfield square, I was keen to celebrate my first. I’m not really a beer drinker, but come hell or high water I’ll have a Guinness!!

Poor planning
Arriving at the square I realise I should probably have made a day of it, joined in the festivities the afternoon while the Tuks DJ’s were still broadcasting from there. By now the queue to enter the square went as far as the eye could see and obviously the creche forgot the gates open – average age must have been around 17. Plan B, again?! The other water holes are dead by comparison ( strangely not taking any advantage of the green fever ) and I was looking forward to a lively crowd.

Fall back to the trusty old Steak & Ale, only they have no Guinness! Staring at the bar stock, I spot a bottle of Jameson which would be my salvation in my quest to be Irish for a night.  

My luck improves as the band playing turns out quite good. I never bothered to find out the name, but the girl singing had a good voice and looked like she really felt the music. Despite her being solidly English and being visibly nervous with the Afrikaans song she hit the spot with “Mannetjies Roux”, the people loved it.

Coming up
I’m not sure if I have the energy to retry Strings & Skins @ Klitsgras tonight. Maybe. Tomorrow though it’s Wolmer DogFest, the line up includes Raoul & Black Friday, Black Cat Bones, Not My Dog and about 4 other bands – it’s going to be a blast!! Mom’s away on Sunday and (at least for me) an unexpected holiday on Monday. I realised with a shock my holiday is less than a month off, so I’ll probably spend all the time I can spare climbing, cycling or something like that.

Hey! It’s Friday!!!!

….and finally a bit of randomness:

Tonight’s a good Friday night, there’s a few options: Klitsgras – String & Skins Beeg Band. Black Friday (remember the Wolmer Blues Bash?) @ Cafe Barcelona and No Quarter Feat with Wayne Coughlan @ Steak & Ale. Tings sadly does not have an up to date guide online.

Klitsgras it is.
I like the idea of being able to move around there, maybe snack on something small, just relaxing and letting the beats drown out all the shit popping up in my mind.

Halfway there I’m not sure if I want to go anymore, maybe I should go somewhere else? O’Gallito’s serves these luxurious glasses of wine – an ice cold rose with some smoked salmon sushi might just hit the spot. No, I’ve eaten well today, let’s not spoil it, so I push on.

Check the onramp going back – no cops – yes!

A sticky situation, or at least one of them
I’m really thirsty, the sort that a beer does not help for,  so I stop of at the garage for one of those super duper healthy fortified mineral waters. The one I pick is for extra energy, without having any caffeine or sugar in it: +1 for the good eating plan. Thus emboldened I get in my car and drive off, only to have the drink pop out of the cup holder. Look, this thing has a BIG cap, so 7/8 of the contents are out before it even hits the ground.

Faaaaaaaark!!!!

An excellent song of The Narrow starts playing. Fuck it, the car needs a good valet anyways, off we go into the darkness of the far east.

Need to get the car serviced before my April trip – I smell petrol every time I get out of the car

What can I write on my blog, I’m all out of topics, nothing interesting happened today…..Wait, how about ”Since early in the evening I’m experiencing a feeling of emptiness. Not unlike that feeling when you’re trying to quit smoking and you want to do something, keep yourself busy, but you’re not quite sure what it is that will scratch your itch.” HA! Infinite loop created.

Tuks reception starts fading, Klitsgras is really out in the sticks. As I turn off and into the gate I have a not so small o-shit moment. The gate is closed and the place is obviously dead.

Faaaaark!!! #2

Somehow I screwed up the dates in my head. For a moment I consider trying to check Facebook on my phone to confirm, but then the absurdity of doing that struck me – I quickly put the phone away before anyone could see me. Murphy is having a laugh at my expense tonight.

Cut your losses
We’re heading back. Too late for the sushi now. Steak & Ale it is.

On the way back only 2 assholes blind me with their brights – things are starting to look up. I get lost in my thoughts, having the perfect conversations with people living in my head. Able to express myself perfectly, we have the most delightfully efficient arguments & banter in my mind.

*pop*

Steak & Ale
My perfect play is interrupted by reality as I turn of the highway back in Centurion.

I missed the first act, so they let me in at half price. I get my first drink without any of the usual bar-counter hassles (gin & tonic, to compliment my favourite bedtime drink: ice cold soda & a squeeze of lemon juice on the rocks – I’m such a refined mother fucker, aren’t I?) by which time the second act start playing – quite possibly perfect timing.

Put that in your pipe & smoke it Murphy

Wayne Coughlan & friends
3 okes with steelstrings, one on electric. Failed to ever REALLY get it going. Make no mistake, these guys are good, but I felt they were not doing as well as they could. A cover version or two were played, all very well. I got the impression they derive immense pleasure from the little harmonies they created, and that’s all well, but I’m a big fan of thumping steelstring rock / blues rock – good examples are “You’re crazy”, GnR on the Lies album, and “Locomotive Breath” – Jethro Tull. I just think with FOUR guitars, they can get a hell of a shit-kicking heart thumping beat going, and still each just do the solo breakouts they seem to focus on.

The one exception was the title track of their new album called “Machete” – well done! I truly got lost in the song, I may buy the album for that one alone.

All in all not bad, but not great.

No Quarter feat Wayne Coughlan & friends
This proved a much better recipe. Essentially they added a drummer, basist and all switched to electrics. I nearly walked out during the intro of the first song, it looked to be just another merry-go-round of “you play a bit, then me, then the next guy”, but all of a sudden they pulled it together and really got it going. Classic blues and some rock type riffs. A bunch of people started dancing as proof of the pudding.

Satisfied, ready to sleep I bid goodnight to my perfect slice of life. Hope you had a good one too, the best ones are those not planned to the finest details and even if so, rarely work out as planned. Roll with the punches, have a laugh and say “fuck it”.

Turning away from the fridge to make my way back to the counter a very smiley person with knapsack across the shoulder, bible in hand and finger place-marking a page somewhere near the middle looked suspiciously keen to say something to me.

With a steely resolve tempered by the daily dodging of determined street vendors, nosy car guards and persistent beggars at each intersection I pretended that he was just being friendly and walked straight past him. 

Paying for my purchase I convinced myself he was just that: very happy to be reading his bible and smiling about it like a kid with a new toy, at most hoping his enthused look would tempt others into playing with him, i.e. the Tom Sawyer approach.

Wrong. Walking out my bullshit detector flared up as I felt him closing in from behind -  he had been waiting for me to finish at the counter before pouncing. Was he sent by the church? Or was he an independent operator?  

Now as the Borg like to say “You will be assimilated, resistance is futile”, so I opted to not let him get to the point of uttering a single word thus leaving me on the back foot, resisting rhetoric. One never knows, he might of the Borg and their claims might be true. A quick about turn with a “I’m not interested” left the poor oke gaping….bit of an anti-climax really.

So rest assured me ‘earties: I remain unconverted, set to sin through another day. Many more pics of scantily clad women lie ahead. More rock & roll show reviews, if possible a sure fire way to get rich and when comes to Ju-Ju cursing is the only way to go . Now please excuse me, I’ve got somewhere to be

The downside is it takes some time, so as Murphy would have it I’m without a car on a weekend positively overflowing with cool stuff to do. Lets see: 

Friday night:
Bittereinder album launch @ Hotbox. Really would like to see this, sounds good over here: 

 Where BLUES meets ROCK Festival (Bronkhorstspruit) 

18:00 The Friendly Lemons
19:00 Liezel Marshall Band
20:00 Hoot n Anny
21:00 Klopjag
22:00 Die Tuindwergies
23:00 Van Coke Kartel
00:00 Fake Leather Blues Band + Jam Session 

Black Cat Bones @ Cafe Barcelona.

Saturday:
Exploratio opening party (Tuks climbing club). Free punch, swimming, bouldering, bonfires, etc. etc. etc.

Where BLUES meets ROCK Festival (Bronkhorstspruit) 

Maybe somone will feel sorry for me and give me a lift ……..  Or I’ll just ride the bike!

 

 

 

I did not fare well with last year’s list so I thought rather than a tick list I’ll set myself sort of a guiding principal this year: Use it or lose it.

Clear out my storage unit – give away & sell everything that’s gathering dust (but fly the big kite at least once again before deciding!!). Wear out my bouldering pad, bicycle’s tires, both my climbing ropes. Play those beautiful guitars & crank up the amps – or else….